The Tragic Election Year

I, for one, am particularly delighted to see the Clintonian house of cards on the verge of imploding. The Billary’s are slick manipulators who, at best, have used their political power and connections for their own personal gain and at worst they are criminals who have used their political power and connections to evade investigation and prosecution. The fact that their negative campaign strategy is backfiring and the voters are ignoring them en mass is quite satisfying. Stress brings out the true character in people and the Clinton campaign is showing us that their (since this candidacy is a two for one deal) tenure in office would be filled with shirked responsibility, finger-pointing, and firings. Good riddance.

What is puzzling is that Barack Obama has become the darling of the Democratic Party and others who are impaired in the ability to apply critical thinking. Look past the Central Casting Presidential Image and you’ll find vague references to his mission with no plan and no clue. But the Celebricrats are lined up under the spell of Obamania. Oprah thinks she has backed the winner. Ted Kennedy gave a thrilling speech of support (which must have caused a lot of swearing and plate throwing at the Clinton household—be carefully Teddy…it’s time for the two families to go to the mattresses). Teddy’s oratory was very moving but all it really means is that a deal has been made what the Kennedy family will get for their betrayal of the Clinton family remains to be seen. Caroline Kennedy has also entered the realm of king maker.

Both Teddy and Caroline told us that Barack is the second coming of JFK. Can this really be true? Let’s examine this further. What do we know about John F. Kennedy?

1. He believed, fought for, and served this country in time of war and led her during the early days of the cold war.

2. He was a war hero. When his boat was destroyed he got the survivors to safety, eluded and escaped the enemy and got the survivors home.

3. He was tough, determined, believed in a strong defense, and did not blink when the Soviet Union began knocking on our door some seventy miles off Florida.

Wait a minute…this sounds much more like McCain than Obama. McCain also believes, fought for, and served this country in time of war, peace, and international turmoil. McCain is also a war hero. He was a Vietnam POW who refused to be released because he knew it was merely a propaganda ploy for North Vietnam.

Obama is none of this. He disrespects this county by trashing our flag, our national symbol. In an appearance in Iowa in September of 2007 as the national anthem was played he did not stand at attention with hand over heart; he stood at ease with hands folded in front of him. Take a good look at the picture below. He looks uncomfortable as the Stars Spangled Banner is played.
A campaign spokesperson stated “Sometime he does, sometimes he doesn’t. In no way was he making any kind of a statement.” Well, this picture clearly made a statement to me.

Further Obama has decided not to wear an American Flag lapel pin stating “I decided that I won’t wear that pin on my chest…shortly after 9/11…that became a substitute for true patriotism.”

No, Barack. The American Flag is not a substitute for patriotism, it is the symbol of our patriotism, and it is the symbol of our country, our ideals, and our people. All of which you nonchalantly dismiss. I do not want a part-time patriotic President with and unknown agenda.

And the anti-American rhetoric keeps coming. Look at this wife’s recent statement “For the first time in my adult lifetime I am really proud of my country, and not just because Barack has done well but because I think people are hungry for change.” And just what will that change be? I’m not sure I want to find out.

Me…I don’t want change; I want strength. Strengthen our economy; strengthen our defense and intelligence gathering capabilities. Do that and the rest of the country’s needs will fall into place. Don’t bring me change; bring me support for our Constitution and its Amendments. Our Founding Fathers gave us democracy in an era of monarchs, emperors, tsars, dictators, and despots. Don’t change it, celebrate it and build upon it. Old Glory, the symbol Barack disrespects, has led this country through the challenges of Independence, Civil War, expansionism, two world wars, the space race, the cold war, and now, global terror. Long may she wave over the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Lastly, stop the inane practice of having presidential candidates make the rounds on the talk and entertainment TV shows. This started with Bill Clinton playing his saxophone on the Arsenio Hall show and this year the candidates are showing up on Ellen DeGeneres, Saturday Night Live, and various Comedy Central programs. This is a desperate appeal to the lowest common denominator and completely undignified. Stop it before I see Hillary sitting between Paula and Simon telling some poor stiff from Omaha that his rendition of the Pina Colada song was a bit pitchy.

Cold and Flu Season

I feel so bad today that if I was a dog my wife would have me euthanized

It has been a long time since I have felt this bad. I hope you will forgive any errant spelling issues as my fine motor skills are diminished and I am peering through two Venetian slits that heretofore, as Walt Disney would say, were the eyes of Joy and Wonder. (Joy and Wonder of course being the two deceased organ donors that provided my corneal transplant.)

I am having a difficult time sleeping due to the expectorant I am taking. The packaging warns of that and warns that the cough suppressant may also cause slight, occasional constipation. Saying it may cause slight occasional constipation is like saying that the Hoover Dam may retain water three to five days a month.

I should not feel this bad as I had the flu shot. Unfortunately what they also don't tell you is that the flu shot is just a tad more effective than a bowl of chicken soup and the proverbial "apple a day" we learned about in Kindergarten. My corporate suspicions tend to make me think that somehow the insurance companies are involved and use the same process for compounding viral vaccinations that they use for claims management; "This claim is not covered and this strain is not covered, this claim is not covered and this strain is not covered."

At least my oldest and I can spend some quality father-daughter time today sharing the Kleenex and disinfecting the thermometer.

One Star Still Shines Brightly

Don Rickles at the Mystic Casino, Prior Lake, Minnesota December 30th, 2007

While my last posting decried the demise of the Television star, there is one remaining star still shining and we were lucky to see him on Sunday night. Don Rickles certainly qualifies as a television star but not due to any of his own TV shows (The Don Rickles Show-attempted twice [1968 & 1972], CPO Sharkey in 1976, Foul Ups, Bleeps & Blunders in 1984, and Daddy Dearest in 1993 all ended in a season or two). Don’s television stardom is derived from his “killer” appearances as a talk show guest, most notably on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.

Growing up in New York Don had the opportunity to see live stage productions which sparked his desire to become an entertainer. World War two came about just as he graduated high school and Don tried to convince the US Navy to put him into Special Services telling them he was a skilled singer, dancer, actor, and impressionist. The Navy didn’t bite and Don became a regular sailor.

Once discharged Don seriously pursued acting, studying at the prestigious American Academy of Dramatic Arts attending with the likes of Lauren Bacall, Anne Bancroft, Kirk Douglas, and Grace Kelly all of whom went on to theatrical greatness. Don did appear in A-list movies such as “Run Silent, Run Deep” with Clark Gable and Burt Lancaster, “Kelly’s Heroes” with Clint Eastwood, and “Casino” with Robert De Niro. However he also appeared in B-list Drive-in Move fare like “X: The Man with the X-Ray Eyes”, “Muscle Beach Party”, “Bikini Beach”, “Pajama Party”, and “Beach Blanket Bingo” with Frankie and Annette. Apparently nothing said ‘60’s beach party like Don Rickles.

Don took a different career path than most of his Academy alumni starting as the comedian who told jokes in between strippers at Burlesque shows. But jokes really weren’t Don’s forte and he began to rely more and more on cultivating an insulting interaction with the audience. This developed into Don’s act and he eventually parlayed it into Las Vegas stardom. He attributes his success to two people: his mother and Frank Sinatra. As he tells the story he was working small clubs in Miami and his big show business break occurred when Don’s mother petitioned Dolly Sinatra, Frank’s mother, to have her famous son stop by and catch Don’s show. The rest, as it is said, is show business history.

Mystic Lake Casino Show

Don was here for two shows, Monday-New Year’s Eve (which sold out very quickly) and Sunday, December 30th which was the show we attended.

The show began with a very typical and very forgettable female singer belting out “For Once in My Life”. The best part of her act was that she only performed for 30 minutes. She oozed the slimy, phony confidence of a D-list lounge crooner who probably traded the stability of singing back-up in small Vegas shows in order to be the opening act of a road bound performer. I had a difficult time discerning the melody in the standards she sang and the only notable feature about her performance was her rather large frontal endowments and the way she cupped them with her left hand as she sang. I would not have bothered to even bring this up except that it was so predominant that my wife mentioned it on the way home. I thought that perhaps the singer was preoccupied with them because they were new. Maybe they had been a Christmas present from a wealthy patron.

After she ended and exited to the right, the white stage lights dimmed to blue, the band’s trumpet section belted out the Matador’s fanfare while Don’s manager cued up the off stage mic “And now, Mr. Warmth, Don Rickles”. The side door to the left of the audience opened and Don entered highlighted by a single spot light. He is now 81 years old, his upper back and shoulders are hunched, and his quick gait has slowed to a moderate shuffle. Many times during his act he likes to feign mock exasperation and drops the microphone. The effort to retrieve the mic is one of prolonged strain making you wonder if he will be able to pick it up and how many more times will he be able to do it.

While the body is constrained by age, the mind is sharp and quick. His timing is spot on and many times during the show he picks on audience members, first asking their name. He returns to them throughout the evening never struggling or stumbling to remember their name, their age, their occupation, or the number of years they have been married. At the end of the show he introduced each member of the Mystic Lake Casino house band, without having to refer to a list. This is a feat that I cannot equal and Don is 30 years my senior.

On December 2nd, HBO presented their documentary “Mr. Warmth, the Don Rickles Project”.

It contained a fair amount of footage from some of his performances in the Spring of 2007. I figured that what was shown would be the same act we would get. I was right, but I was in no way disappointed.

His act may be the same but his interaction with the audience allows the spontaneous material to tailor itself to the new location and audience “victims”. The twist for this performance was the fact that he was in Minneapolis in the winter as he peppered us with quips like “52 years in the business I’ve never had a Norwegian broad ringside at one of my shows” (after asking an audience member what her heritage was), “What’s a black man doing in Minnesota” (after spotting an African-American woodwind player in the house band), and “Jew’s don’t live in Minnesota, we just own the trucks that bring you the supplies”. Later in the show he told us that his father’s dentist was James Cagney’s brother and, as Don was first starting out, his father arranged an audience for him with Jimmy, at the dentist office. He then did an uncanny Cagney impression recounting how Jimmy had warned him of continual rejection and that he would only make it if he believed in himself and had perseverance and heart. Don then looked skyward, shouting “Jimmy, Jimmy, I finally made it—I’m in Minneapolis!”

While the show was funny, it was also bittersweet. At one point Don sang “(I’ll trade you) Laughter for Love” and I noted a couple of things: he actually has a pretty good singing voice and, he very visibly welled up toward the end of the song. I tend to remember that “Laughter for Love” was one of Johnny Carson’s favorite songs…I wonder if that was his emotional association.

Don Rickles is one of the last remaining show business legends still performing. I am so very glad that I had the opportunity to experience his humor and tenderness.